A Brief History of Steves

Steve Kasica (@swkasica)

Feb. 8, 2019

https://github.com/swkasica/a_brief_history_of_steves

• Thank UBC Computer Science Graduate Student Association
• Forum to get something off my chest
• Lately, need to reintroduce/introduce people to the Steve community
• Because of three guys giving Steve a bad name

The Axis of St-evil

• Steve Bannon
• Stephen Miller
• Steve Mnuchin

The Axis of St-evil: Steve Mnuchin

• U.S. Secretary of the Treasury
• Worth \$300 million
  • Holding \$25
• Photo w/ wife Louise Linton
• Look like Bond Villans
• Requested a military jet fly them to their European honeymoon.

The Axis of St-evil: Stephen Miller

• Senior Advisor to the President and speech writer
• Loudest voices in Trump Administration anti-immigration chorus
  • High school told Latino students to speak only English
  • Suppressed an internal govt. report, refugees => net positive effect on government revenues
• Uncle wrote an essay "Stephen Miller Is an Immigration Hypocrite. I Know Because I'm His Uncle."
• So creepy

The Axis of St-evil: Steve Bannon

• Former White House Chief Strategist
• "The King Maker"
• Driving force behind
  • U.S. out of Paris Agreement on climate change
  • Travel ban
• Called a ball hog by shipmates in Navy

Outline

• What is a Steve?
  • Stephen vs. Steven

• Steves in Modern History
  • Artists
  • Scientists
  • Athletes

• Steves in Popular Culture

• Need this time to show you we're not all like that
• Three Parts

What is a Steve?

Source: Scholastic

• Climb Tree of Steve
• Zweibel's "Our Tree Named Steve"
  • Blatent rip off of Shell Silverstein's "The Giving Tree"

Vega(treeSchema)

• Cross-cultural

  • "スティーブン (Stiibun)" Japan
  • "Istifanous" Arabic
  • Stefan German
  • "Степан (Stepan)" Ukranian
  • Tapani Finish
  • Sītífán Mandarin Chinese
  • Stefano Italian and Swahili
  • Steephan India

• 4 groups: f, v, b, p sounds

• Common v-sound ancestor

Stephen vs. Steven

Stephen > Steven

• Can't be objective
• Unigram => probability of Stephen vs. Steven
• English Literature
• Steven after 1960
• V-vs-PH war is real.
  • Live it my whole life

Stephen vs. Steven

• Emotional scars
• Kindergarten (5 years old)
• Accused my mom of spelling my name wrong
• Can hear "ph"/"v"

VegaLite(baby_names)

• U.S. Social Security Administration records baby names
• Steven surpasses Stephen ~ 1950
• In decline after decades in top 100

• If you have children, please consider making them a Steve
• They'll be in good company

"If you forget an old white guy's name, you have a descent chance if you just throw out a Steve."
-- Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Jan. 6, 2019

• True if their legal name is Steve
• But not if their legal name is Steven or Stephen
• Screw you Seth Meyers, check your facts.

Steves in Modern History

Vega(timeline)

• Wynn: Businessman, basically made Las Vegas what is it today
• Burns: Blues Clues

Steves are Artists

• Steve Martin
  • SNL and Bluegrass half of Famer
• Esteban
• Stephen Colbert
  • First Stephen Late Night host
• Stevie Nicks
  • Steves aren't just dudes
• Steve Aoki (Eh-Oh-key)
  • EDM artist
  • Known for known Kid Cudi remixes
• Stephen King
  • National Book Award Winner
• Stevie Wonder
  • Singer songwriter
• Stephen Speilberg
  • Director

Stevie Nicks

• Born May 26, 1948
• One of the greatest songwriters of all time
• Vocalists in Fleetwood Mac

• American singer and songwriter, best known as vocalist with Fleetwood Mac
• Inducted in Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (Fleetwood Mac) 1998 and will be inducted as a solo artist in 2019.
• As a solo artist, she's received eight grammy nominations but zero awards.
  • Stevie Wonder has 25 grammys

Steves are Curious

• Scientists and journalists and engineers (want to know how things work)
• Stephen Hawking
  • Theoretical physists
• Stephen Jay Gould
  • Evolutionary biologist
  • Project Steve
• Steve Kroft
  • 60 Minutes correspondent
• Steve Ritchie
  • Holds the record for best-selling pinball designer in history
  • Called "The Master of Flow"
• Stephanie Kwolek "Qua-lick"
  • Chemist
  • Created the first family of synthetic fibers, exceptional strength and stiffness
    • best known is Kevlar - used in 200 applications

Stephen Hawking: Theoretical Physicist

• Jan. 8, 1942 - March 14, 2018
• Diagnosed with ALS at age 21
• Pop Culture Icon

Stephen Hawking Notes

• Theoretical physicist: explaining the origins of the universe and black holes
• Diagnosed with amyotropic lateral sclerosis (ALS, or Lou Gehrig's disease) at age 21
  • Doctors gave him 2.5 years to live, he did 52.5.
• Wrote or co-authored 15 books including
  • A Brief History of Time: four years atop the London Sunday Times' best-sellers list.
• Ashes are interred at Westminster Abbey alongside Newton and Charles Darwin.

Stephen Jay Gould: Evolutionary Biologist

• September 10, 1941, - May 20, 2002
• Authored 300 popular essays in Natural History magazine
• Project Steve

Stephen Jay Gould Notes

• Theory of punctuated equilibrium
  • long stable periods, infrequent swift periods of branching speciation.
• Inspiration for Project Steve
  • 2003
  • Anti-evolution petittion, Discovery Institute
  • National Center for Science Education, pro-evolution counterpart,
  • > 1,400 signatures

Steves are athletic

• Steve Prefontaine
  • Running icon and 1972 Olympian.
• Steve Nash
  • Macleans called one of "Canada's greatest athletes of all time"
  • Pro basketballer with 18 seasons in the NBA
• Steph Curry
  • Golden State
  • 6 x NBA All-Star, 2 x MVP, 3 x Champs
• Steve Young (Jon Steven Young)
  • 3 x Super Bowl Champion
  • 49ers (1987-1999)
  • San Francisco 49ers & BYU Retired No. 8
• Stephanie Venier
  • Austrian World Cup alpine ski racer
  • Silver medal in downhill 2017 FIS World Championships
    • Hirscher's not the only good Austrian ski racer, Michael!

Steph Curry

• Wardell Stephen Curry II
• Born March 14, 1988
• Plays for Golden State Warriors

• First player since Michael Jordan to score 118 points in his team's first three games.
• Named the NBA MVP twice and won 3 NBA Championships with the Golden State Warriors.
  • 1st MVP (2015-2016) by a unamious vote.
• Charity work: combat malaria
  • Donate three mosquito nets for every three-pointer.

One Steve is good

But Steve + Steve =

• You get Apple
• When you get multiple Steves together, there's no limit to what we can achieve.

In popular culture

VegaLite(google_trends)

• Interest relative to highest interest at any given time
• September 2006: Steve Irwin Died
• October 2011: Steve Jobs Died

Steves as Internet Memes

• "an opportunistic and freeloading juvenile who wreak havoc in various social situations." -- KnowYourMeme
• Started around 11
• The guy's name is Blake Boston!

Steves as Heros

• Steve Rogers (Captin America)
  • Top 100 Comic Book Heroes of All Time - IGN
• Steve Harrington
  • Only character to go toe-to-toe with the Demigorgon and live

In Song Lyrics

1. "Hey Stephen" Taylor Swift
2. "St. Stephen" Greatful Dead
3. "Steven's Last Night in Town"
4. "Stephen" Ke\$sha
5. "Steven" Alice Cooper
6. "Steve McQueen" Sherly Crow
7. "Steve McQueen" Drive-By Truckers
8. "Stephen" Gene Loves Jezebel
9. "Steve Lacy" Harry Connick, Jr.
10. "Steve Biko (Stir It Up)" A Tribe Called Quest
11. "Steven Seagal" Droids Attack

...

Steve (atmospheric phenomenon)

• Discovered in 2016 by FB Alberta Aurora Chasers
• 25 km wide ribbon of hot plasma, much closer to equator than an aurora.
• One suggested the name Steve from Over the Hedge
• NASA has renamed it "Strong Thermal Emission Velocity Enhancement" STEVE

A Brief History of Steves

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• Steves Not Greedy, xenophobic, slobs
• We're artists, scientists, journalists, athletes with a proud history

Questions?

Such as:

• Can I change my name to Steve?
• When do I call someone ˈstiːvən vs. ˈʃtɛfan?
• What about Stephen Feinberg?
• What about Kevin McCarthy?

Supplementary Materials

Colbert on Stephen vs. Steve

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Is Kevin McCarthy an honorary Steve?

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• Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) House Minority Leader